One more time

Now you know, but yet not learned
How life's lessons disturb anything in their path
Shaking like a motherfucker
All that crap that's hard stuck

I can't do anything but relate
It's like a curse that's been hunting me down
I'm not myself, someone else takes over

Wishing I were as conscious as I am
I don't like who I've become
This new fight within me
Has claimed the peacefulness in my soul
Life-sucking essence-taking love
Who controls the valve? If I knew, I'd kill him
Who made me this way? Who broke me this bad?

But now the quietness has entered the room
I can reorganize my thoughts, and objectives, and push forward like I know how
It's time to grow, even more, the calluses around my heart
The trust has left the chat, only consciousness to heal

In this game, only the innocent pay for the sinners
But I've got the cheat codes already
They are expensive, I know
I've already paid the price